where to go next?

Probably the most sensible thing to do would have been to return to Scotland. For most it would have been the only solution to come to mind.
I did not even consider returning , i was/am convinced i would not have been welcomed.
A few days before my flight to Sicily , my mother said she needed to talk to me alone, she told me how much she loved Giuseppe, how if things didn't work out she was sure it would be my fault... She said "you've made your choice, don't think you can just get tired of him and come running back home"- I had made my own bed and i was going to have to lie in it ...
My mother's speech upset me at the time and has kept hurting me every day since.
She had lost a son only 2 months earlier and now she was telling her daughter she would not allow her to come home if she should ever need / want to.
I was not going to beg her to change her mind , i would make my life here on my own, i decided to survive Sicily and Sicilians...
I threw myself into my work, became a sales rep ...
I travelled all over the south of Italy to cities like Naples, Caserta, Cosenza and Palermo and to tiny remote villages i'd never even heard of before...
Often i would drive to Cosenza or some such place on a sunday night to be there on time for monday morning appointments and spent the week in the area .. I was something of an attraction in the more remote places... Any woman travelling alone to a place like Piscopio or Serra San Bruno was a novelty, me being taller than most and obviously a foreigner , well i got used to getting looked at like i was a 2 headed monster.
Of course it's still commonly believed here that a foreign woman is easy - a foreign divorced woman, well he's doing her a favour....
I learned to detest the hotels where i spent my weeks as most of the other clients were sales reps just like me, but all were men!
At lunch i would eat a panino in the car and for dinner preferred room service , at least i could eat my meal without being stared at, it was easier to be alone than to accept my many male colleagues invitations to eat together in the hotel restaurant or an after dinner drink.... To accept either would have been likea asking them back to my room afterwards for sex. The married ones were the worst of all , shamefacedly they would try every trick in the book while their devoted wives no doubt stayed home cooking, cleaning and single handedly brought up the kids...
It was neither the hardest nor the easiest time of my life. In time it became normality , i would come home to my tiny appartment at weekends , glad to have my own place, even if it was just a bedroom with bathroom and a little corner for cooking, i could almost make coffee while still in bed in the mornings....
I had settled into a lonely but serene style of life.